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Transcript…
Jim Edwards: Hey guys, Jim Edwards here…
Welcome back to another episode of Funnel Scripts Live…
I’m your host, Jim Edwards, along with my podcast producer, Mr. Stew Smith…
Welcome Stew.
Stew Smith: Hello sir…
How are you?
Jim Edwards: I’m doing fantabulous on you put me through a rather rigorous workout today Stew…
Thanks very much.
Stew Smith: You’re very welcome.
Jim Edwards: So today we are actually going to be doing something we have not done…
I don’t think on FunnelScripts live…
We’re actually going to rip somebody’s funnel apart, which should be fun…
I’m excited.
Give us a little background on this person, then we’re going to jump in it.
Stew Smith: Yeah…
So we decided to do like a 10-minute challenge, see if we could in 10 minutes go through this website and just see how the funnel plays and maybe make some recommendations along the way…
So this is…
Jim Edwards: You sound nice Stew we got 10 minutes to rip this guy a new one.
Anyway, go ahead…
Stew Smith: It’s just from Mitchell who is asking for help, so we are going to help him.
Jim Edwards: Okay…
Stew Smith: So anyway, he has virtual mastermind and a product that helps videographers, filmmakers actually get paying clients.
Jim Edwards: Okay…
Stew Smith: So that is what he does.
And he has a website that walks you through a funnel, and we’re going to make some recommendations on that.
Jim Edwards: We’re going to rip it apart.
So he is actually a Funnel Scripts and ClickFunnels user.
So we’re gonna help him out.
First thing we’re going to do is we’re going to set our little egg timer to 10 minutes.
And that way we’ll given the best, this is his, I’m assuming that this is kind of on the back end of a squeeze page.
So number one, ditch this…
You move this over…
You’re losing 25% of your above the fold with stuff that nobody cares about.
All right?
Stew Smith: Yep…
Jim Edwards: So tighten this way up, move that over…
Put it next to that…
All this stuff…
Attention, video creators…
Are you a videographer who wants more paid gigs?
That’s okay…
I would suggest, if this is on the back end of a squeeze page, they probably are videographers…
And I would do something more along the lines of attention video creator…
You got attention video creators.
We know they are, but are you a videographer who wants more paid gigs?
I’d say how to get more paid gigs and stop begging for business.
Or something like how to get paid to do what you love with more paid gigs and less begging for jobs, something like that.
So doing the, how to get benefit without pain, I would do that…
But definitely a little bit different headline…
Just what’s the big payoff they want?
What’s the big pain they want to avoid?
How to get a lot more paid gigs or how to get a lot better paying gigs…
I know that sounds like a double whatever, but how to get more comma better-paying gigs without cold calling or begging for business…
How about that?
Stew Smith: It’s a good start…
Jim Edwards: So you didn’t give me the reaction I was looking for…
Okay…
So I don’t like this cause it’s kind of weird with the…
Stew Smith: The Burger King crowns on…
Jim Edwards: Crowns and stuff…
It just doesn’t…
Stew Smith: I would definitely get a cooler picture for your video.
The video may be great, and I’m sorry I haven’t checked out the video, but I would get a cool video of someone with a video camera filming something that is really cool going on.
Jim Edwards: Yeah…
Stew Smith: Like tiger chasing down the antelope or whatever…
I mean those videographers…
But anyway, you can use something with a little more action into it and make it the job of videographer really cool…
Jim Edwards: Yeah…
I think also or either that or you on stage in front of a bunch of people…
Stew Smith: Yes…
Jim Edwards: This is just kind of weird…
It looks like you’re standing in front of an ATM…
Stew Smith: It looks like a, so YouTube next up…
Jim Edwards: I don’t even know something that, what that is?
Stew Smith: Yeah…
Jim Edwards: So this, the other thing I would do is go invest in Wistia, which is a service that will autoplay your video.
It’ll autoplay it on mute, and you’ll have a big unmute thing…
But if this is your money from this video, you can’t depend on people to click this and watch it…
You gotta have the video start playing…
So it’s work a hundred bucks a month to have Wistia…
That’s okay to have there…
The following is a message for every videographer who needs to get more paid gigs but can’t get any clients…
That is the right idea…
But I know you kind of got this template from the one funnel away challenge, which is a good start.
But the following is a message for every videographer who needs to get more paid gigs but can’t figure out how to develop a steady stream of new clients.
Something like that.
It needs to get more paid gigs, but he needs to get more paid gigs…
We can’t get any clients…
This part right here makes no sense on a layout type thing…
You want to make videos for a living, but you can’t make enough money to be on your own…
This icon makes no sense…
None of this makes sense…
Again, I know you’re using the template, but this isn’t good.
These should be more like bullets, and you need to say…
“Are you struggling with any of the following?”
You want to make videos for a living but can’t find a way to make enough money to survive on your own or to thrive on your own or to thrive with your own business.
You’re looking for a roadmap for how to turn your passion from a side hustle into a full-time career as a videographer…
You’ve tried a bunch of things, but nothing’s worked so far because you can’t get enough paid gigs to quit your job…
And to make matters…
And the next another bullet, I’d divide these up and worst of all, you can’t find a good mentor to guide you in the right direction.
Here’s the biggest problem you face right now as a struggling videographer…
It does not have a professional video reel, an online brand that consistently attracts the types of clients you want…
I’m not a big fan of centered text…
I can tell you that right now…
This is too big…
And so this should be about half the size it is now…
And then this should be the size of this thing here.
And again, this is a letter, and this is weird with the…
This should be more like a letter…
So then you’re getting from the desk of regarding how to become a professional videographer.
This is weird here.
You’ve got the pieces, but it’s not in a real letter type thing…
And if you want to see examples of letters that work, go look at the Copywriting Secrets Sales Letter.
Look at Russell’s Dot Com Secrets, Expert Secrets…
Look at those sales letters to see actual formatting that works…
But that’s not the end of the problem…
From the desk of regarding how to be a professional videographer…
Dear struggling videographer, here’s the biggest problem you face right now is not having professional video, real and online brand that consistently attracts clients.
But that’s not the end of the problem and actually gets worse…
Why?
Because if you don’t have a killer video, a real solid portfolio, and a consistent online brand that shows your work, no one’s going to hire you because you don’t look experienced and professional…
That’s good…
But this white on black makes me want to barf…
So if it’s a letter…
A letter is white with black text…
This means clients won’t trust you to create videos for them if you don’t have experience making video in a specific industry…
And worst of all, most videographers can’t get the I-PASS…
The idea that getting clients to pay you for videos is really hard…
And an agent or manager, parentheses or worse yet hours and hours of cold calling and rejection with phones getting slammed in your ear and doors getting slammed in your face…
But luckily for you, there’s now a solution to your problem.
I would say luckily for you there’s now a solution to your problem…
It’s the, whatever the name of this thing is, video content, school, virtual mastermind…
But before we get into that, let me share a quick story with you…
Now you’ve got your story, but again, this text, this is a cool picture of you…
I like that…
But this text over, this background is distracting as heck…
This I can’t read…
Okay…
Stew Smith: And the center text throws me off too…
Jim Edwards: Yeah…
And then this down here, (hen,ehn )this is going to blow…
This could be the greatest text in the world, but I don’t want to read it if this is a letter than it’s a letter on a white background with black text…
Plus, you’re mixing your formatting and your fonts and stuff…
This should be the same formatting is that…
This right here, (ahn, ahn) that the way this is formatted, this just needs to be a letter.
So here’s what I’ve got for you today this isn’t a headline…
This is a transition…
So this right here should be little texts like this…
And then this right here should be the headline…
If you’re a videographer who really needs to get paid gigs but can’t get consistent clients but can’t attract clients consistently, here’s the solution you’ve been looking for…
Okay…
And then switching over to this, your whole sales letters should be like this here…
Okay…
Stew Smith: Thant is?
I’m introducing the videos…
School video content, school, virtual mastermind…
These are good…
I was looking at these…
Create a badass portfolio, an online brand that will attract clients and get you paid work…
But you’re missing the meaning part as I was looking at these are feature and benefit basically, but it needs to take to next level.
Like we do in Funnel Scripts, we do the FBM bullets…
You’re missing the M feature…
Benefit, meaning create a badass portfolio and online brand that will attract clients and get you paid work so you can stop working a nine to five and start doing what you love, maintain your clients…
So you get consistent revenue and a loyal customer base, which means you don’t have to chase business because people will call you…
Do you see you’ve got the first parts of it, you got the features and the benefit…
Now we’re going to give him an extra couple of minutes, but go through and do the…
These are good…
Okay…
So here’s exactly what you’re going to get with a video content school, virtual mastermind…
This makes me want to puke as far as the italics stuff here.
And this should be a title of what they’re going to get…
The video business system…
Every videographer needs to know four-hour training with Q and an in group coaching session on Nova, I blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…
This should be a title…
Okay…
The video business systems secrets session whatever it is…
It’s got to have a name, and then it has a description, and then it has a value, and then it has this other stuff…
You’re mixing together stuff here that shouldn’t be in the title…
Its title and description…
Again I’m going to use an example of my own thing, but see how this is formatted…
This is black text on a white background…
Okay…
See how we do this?
All right…
This is how you do it…
Now, if you’re looking for something like a stack…
Let’s look Dot Com Secrets…
Russell’s got a stack on here…
His video follows you…
I’m feeling like I’m kind of a punk…
Okay.
Come on, Jim…
New keyboard…
I would say new fingers when it’s new keyboard…
Here for the stacks…
Maybe I’ll go over, there’s really no stack with the book…
All right…
Whenever we go to ClickFunnels, just want to show you the formatting for it…
I’m trying to get…
See, this is what shows you it was live because if it wasn’t live, this would be edited out, and it would be perfect…
So let’s look in the OFA Scripts, and we’ll do the Hook Story Offer Script, and we’ll load an example, and we’ll click the button.
I don’t want you to see down here when I’m talking about…
See, this is how you gotta do it…
It’s got a name, it’s got a value, it’s got a description, name, description, name, value description…
What you’ve got here is…
As our friends down under would say a big dog’s breakfast…
And I italicized…
So this right here, I would bullet this…
And it looks like you’ve got other things that could be part of your stack here…
I mean you’ve got the video business system meeting thing, you’ve got the private Facebook group, you’ve got the camera settings checklist, you’ve got all of these things should have a name, a value, and a description and a picture over here to show them, “Hey, I’m getting all this cool stuff”
Stew Smith: And live training everything…
Jim Edwards: Yeah…
And then this right here, a super cool bonus is not the title of it…
Okay?
It put the title up here, so they see what they’re getting…
Either that or take this output the title above it right here…
If it won’t fit with this formatting thing, but it’s the title picture description…
You got to do that down here…
This right here makes no sense being organized this way…
This needs to be part of the letter if this is part of it…
And it also needs a sub-headline above it to introduce this…
Don’t wait…
Time’s running out…
Some sort of a transition…
Subheadline these right here, these need a picture…
You’re a video guy…
Dude…
I’m just going to say this…
You should have video testimonials…
I’m just saying if you’re a video guy, you should have video testimonials.
Your call to action…
I mean, it’s almost like these headlines should be up here above this thing right in this area…
This looks good, but it looks weird in this box with this background, but I’m harped on that enough…
This should be in a letter format…
I know that Stew is a big fan of Navy colors…
Stew Smith: Blue and gold.
Jim Edwards: Blue and gold…
But this ain’t in your sales copy…
Stew Smith: Are those links?
Jim Edwards: No, this is the reason why this is…
Which is great, but again, if you’re a videographer who wants to get more paid gigs, this is why you need to act now…
No, this is what we’re trying to do.
Here’s a recap…
Everything you’ll get…
I mean, I’m not going to comment on this anymore…
This, no, no, no…
The formatting’s what’s killing you, man?
Stew Smith: Yeah, that’s it…
I mean you have good content in there…
Just needs to be a little prettier…
Jim Edwards: Yeah, so you need to have a PS and stuff on your anyway, that’s enough for now…
We gave you extra time and extra juice…
But that’s a good example of having good sales copy there that then should be tweaked…
I mean, I can see exactly where that came from…
Funnelscripts…
So great job filling that out…
Great first draft…
Your formatting sucks.
I’m just telling you…
So either fix it or hire somebody to fix it because that does not look right.
It’s too hard to read…
I mean, I know exactly where the template came from and the templates good.
But the template also is only so good, and you need to look at it now from.
And this is really hard to do, but this is something that we all have to do.
It’s hard when it’s your stuff to separate you from that, and you’re like, okay, this is what people told me to do…
I took Funnel Scripts, and I filled it out, and it reads okay.
So that should be enough.
It’s enough for a first draft.
I took the template that they gave me in one funnel away challenge, or I found it in the marketplace and ClickFunnels.
And so that should be enough.
It is enough for your first draft.
Okay.
But now you have to take off your, this is my thing hat, and you need to put on the hat of the customer and look at this and say, does this read right?
Does this look, right?
Is this formatted, right?
And if you can’t do that, then you need to hire somebody who can…
Russel always says it’s not how, but who, if you’re not a graphic artist, if you’re not really good at this, then go find somebody who is, or in my humble opinion, default to the simplest formatting and the simplest template that you can find.
White on a dark background with Navy blue headlines and red sub-headlines and all the texts black in a certain size…
I mean, it’s when you start adding all these different things and trying to look pretty and using formatting to try and overcome other stuff that it just gets in the way…
Anyway, that’s my 2 cents on all that…
Well, you have a great first draft…
Now you need to shape it into something…
As a videographer, I know that you probably have scripts that you help people use, but if they just use the script the exact way that you give it to them without editing it sounds stilted.
It doesn’t work…
It’s the same thing…
I’m giving them a first draft…
This is what you’ve got now…
You need to finish it off…
So hopefully, that helps and make some changes, and we actually would be happy to look at this again, make the changes, get back to us, and we will be happy to look at it again.
So for those of you, I’m that that’s all I had to say about that…
It feels like a mini funnel Fridays.
If you don’t have Funnel Scripts, Funnel Scripts will do an awesome job at helping you to get that first draft done…
If you don’t have any of the books that I showed you and looking at all the sites if you don’t have Expert Secrets, if you don’t have Dot Com Secrets, if you don’t have Copywriting Secrets, you can get all those books free.
You just pay shipping and handling for each one.
What else you got Stew?
Stew Smith: No, that was good…
I had actually said we could do this in 10 minutes and you had said, now we need 15, and you are right…
Jim Edwards: Okay…
Stew Smith: But no, get a critical eye on it.
Whether or write it up, review it and then take a day and don’t look at it again and then go back into another day.
If you don’t want to spend money on the next level but at least get somebody in your house or a good friend, maybe someone who is creative and understands…
Just so it has a little bit more understanding of how things should read and look on there…
Cause that was the big thing that you’re contrast between your text and your background were rather difficult to read, and it kinda made me dizzy…
Jim Edwards: If I was gonna to give you one piece of advice, it would be to, and again, I understand all the different things you’re trying to balance here…
Okay…
But just advice in general when it comes to formatting is instead of starting with a template that has all this crazy formatting and stuff on it, start with the simplest template that you can find and add formatting to that.
Once you’ve got your message done, and it looks and reads well as opposed to trying to mash together your sales copy and the formatting, and you’re trying to figure out how to make the sales copy fit with the formatting of a template that you’ve got, and then the whole thing gets messed up…
Get your message right and then add the formatting to the message, not the other way around, which is what a lot of people do when they start using templates…
I don’t know if that makes 100% sense, but I’d rather see a plain white funnel with all black texts…
Then to see what I’m seeing here, where the text is being format in such a way that it destroys the message…
I’d rather have a great message with a boring template than an exciting template with a message that you can understand because the formatting gets in the way.
I hope that makes sense…
Stew Smith: That makes a lot of a lot of sense.
Jim Edwards: Comment down in the comments below and helped me get that thought a little bit better organized.
I really want to know what you guys think of this…
Stew Smith: So here’s one more thing…
Get a cool picture of a videographer filming something cool, right?
Not just some guys with burger King crowns on their heads actually get a cool picture.
I mean, they’re videographers doing really cool stuff in war-torn wildlife areas.
They’re doing paid gigs, following rock stars around whatever that is…
Jim Edwards: Supermodels.
Stew Smith: There you go.
Even better, so get a good picture or video of someone actually video viewing things that are awesome…
Jim Edwards: Yeah, absolutely…
All right, cool…
Well, you guys have a great day…
Let us know what you think down in the comments below, and we’ll talk to you guys soon.