Jim Edwards walks through a Funnel Scripts customers live webpage and explains some better headlines / sub head lines / bullets using Funnel Scripts https://funnelscripts.com.
Jim shows how to fix and test a few changes on a website sales funnel page with just a few minutes of work.
This is Funnel Scripts Live with Jim Edwards… an Official Click Funnels Production” For more information – See https://FunnelScripts.com Check out Funnel Scripts!
Once again, thank you for listening and if you want to be on the show or just ask your question and we can help you with it, go to: https://members.funnelscripts.com/live/
All the scripts we demo are available right now for Funnel Scripts members to use! And, if you’re not already a member of Funnel Scripts, you should be! Head on over to https://FunnelScripts.com to get started today!
If you’ve already seen the training and just want to sign up, go to https://FunnelScripts.com/go
Get your FREE Copywriting Secrets book here – https://copywritingsecrets.com/ – Just pay shipping.
Jim Edwards: Hey guys, Jim Edwards here along with Stew Smith and welcome back to another episode of Funnel Scripts live the official podcast for Funnel Scripts…
So today, we are back with another 10-minute funnel fix because people really enjoyed that last week.
So we figured let’s keep riding that horse until people say do something else.
So we actually got a really good submission from one of our subscribers who is also a Funnel Scripts customer and a Click Funnels customer.
And we’ve interviewed her own past podcast episodes as well.
But it’s a Dr. Kelly, the chiropractor, who actually has something super, super cool…
She created her book on brain health…
So we’re going to do a 10-minute funnel fix for her.
So let me read to you what they shared with me as far as this goes and what they’re trying to get done.
I’ll just give you a little bit of background.
Here we go.
So we have our book funnel done.
They created it with the hook story offer script inside the OFA scripts in Funnel Scripts struggling for the conversions though I’ve had 947 visitors, more of a cold audience coming from affiliate list but only converted four.
I’m thinking we need some bullets at the beginning and maybe to tweak the headline.
So let’s just jump over there and take a look at it and talk about what we see…
Just knee jerk reaction because that’s really what people when they show up see.
So we’re only gonna look at this first part today…
So this first one…
Three out of five Americans will develop a brain disease in their lifetime…
That’s kind of depressing.
And do you think so Stew, or do you like your odds on that?
Stew Smith: Well, I see 40% chance of me not getting one, so, okay.
It doesn’t scare me.
Jim Edwards: What said, let’s do our 10 minutes; otherwise, I can keep to this forever.
Okay…
So this actually scares me, but I’m not sure that it scares me into wanting the book because the headline here and none, I’m not sure, is this the headline or is this the headline is it’s the headline sub-headline…
But bring back lost memories and regain your brain…
Even if you have a family history of memory problems…
So right here, my question is, I don’t know who this is aimed at.
Is this aimed at somebody who knows they have a brain problem?
Somebody who knows they have a memory problem.
In which case would they even remember to click on the link?
Mmm, it’s, yeah, do what I can…
And yes, I do have a rubber chicken in here, so I’m not sure right off the bat it’s like is this about brain disease?
Is this about regaining lost memories, or is this about regaining something?
Now we start going into these, these are bulleted, but these ain’t bullets…
Okay…
50 million people live with dementia…
Stew Smith: Statistics.
Jim Edwards: Okay, these are statistics, not bullets, right?
Depression affects over 18 million us adults every 65 seconds someone in the US develops Alzheimer’s…
Anxiety affects 40 million adults a year…
Nearly 8 million kids under the age of 17 had been diagnosed with ADHD…
Yes, I want to maximize my brain help today.
So this is the problem here that this is all over the place.
Stew Smith: It is.
Did you know what Jim, I don’t mean to interrupt you, but something that just popped up to me was her top line develop a brain disease…
Well, I don’t really understand what that means.
Jim Edwards: Right.
Stew Smith: Right.
But I just did from all these statistics…
So I think maybe somehow making these statistics stand out a little more.
Not with statistics, but just dementia, depression, Alzheimers, anxiety, ADHD.
Now those are ringing a bell to me…
Jim Edwards: Right.
That’s a great point…
And then taking it even further, whatever the step you had, dementia, depression, Alzheimers, anxiety, ADHD, do you suffer from one of these or are you in danger of suffering in the near future?
Something like that.
Where it’s grabbing them because now we’re getting into something that’s going to make people pay attention.
Do you or someone you love suffer from dementia, depression, all Alzheimer’s, anxiety, or ADHD.
That’s another one.
Stew Smith: Great question!
Jim Edwards: Do you or someone you love suffer from?
Well, and now that’s like, boom…
We’ve stopped the right people in their tracks or at least anybody will stop…
Now…
We can give them the stuff now…
I haven’t listened to the video, and I don’t know if you can hear that or not.
Stew Smith: No, we can’t…
But just know that she has a great English accent.
Jim Edwards: She does not have an English accent.
Stew Smith: Australian…
Jim Edwards: No, she’s from Colorado.
Stew Smith: She isn’t.
Jim Edwards: She is.
Yes…
Stew Smith: I thought she was British.
Jim Edwards: Now, can you hear it?
Dr. Kelly: Passion of mine and why I was compelled to write the beginner’s guide to brain health…
Jim Edwards: Do you hear her voice?
Stew Smith: Maybe It’s Canadian…
Jim Edwards: She’s from Colorado.
You’re alienating everybody…
Stew Smith: I was listening to her, and I was like, Oh, where is she from?
That was a nice accent…
Jim Edwards: Anyway, the problem is that it’s like the beginner’s guide to brain health…
This is a problem…
Because I don’t like that title…
It’s the beginning…
Are you trying to teach me how to be a doctor, or are you trying to teach me how to diagnose staff?
It’s the promise.
There’s no promise here.
I know there’s value here, but to my addled brain, there’s no promise here…
It’s like there’s three potential promises here…
the one of preventing disease, discomfort, reversing, curing…
I know you can’t use the word cure for anything.
But that’s the second group.
And then the third group is this bring back lost memories thing.
Which to me, is interesting because I’ve always been fascinated with how to enhance my memory, but also to be able to remember stuff better.
Remember things that I might’ve forgotten in past events, things like that increased the acuity of my memory and my memories.
You make them more vivid, pull them out.
Stew Smith: clarity.
Jim Edwards: Yeah…
So I think that’s the big problem that I have here.
And the fact that, okay, we’ve got the book…
Is this a physical book or an ebook?
That’s something that’s not real clear.
Stew Smith: So is this a book giveaway with a program?
That’s a good sense of book.
Jim Edwards: Right?
So that’s the other thing…
We’re looking for 49 bucks for what looks like a book…
So we’ve got this ebook…
This ebook is your key to reclaim your brain now so you can increase your memory, focus, and concentration and avoid going down with a debilitating path towards dementia and Alzheimer’s…
The value might be there, but that price tag…
Eat your way to better how best sleep ever.
Beginner’s guide.
49 bucks.
I mean, I’m just looking at this, looking at the bonuses, looking at the description take actionable steps to easily, I mean there’s a little typo here.
They got an extra line here.
Dramatically reduce the chance of developing dementia and Alzheimer’s…
That’s so you can live a long and fruitful life without being a burden to your kids and grandkids…
But I think the salvation lies up here…
You got to pick the audience…
You gotta pick the pain.
You got to pick the thing that you’re focusing on here because it’s too muddy…
It’s all over the place.
These bullets are not the bullets for up here…
These bullets should be curiosity-driven things that promise an emotional payoff of what’s available in the book.
And in the program.
I would also suggest that you not call it an ebook, and even if it is an ebook, you call it a course, and you convert this over to being a course.
Work on your bullets that answering the question.
Here’s what it is.
Take actionable steps to easily start improving your memory, focusing concentration so you can blank, which means blank so you can just plain be sharper, which means people will look at you funny and make fun of you because I’m just talking off the top of my head on that one…
Learn how your family genetics do not have to be your future…
So you can take control of your health, which means you don’t learn how your family genetics does not have to be your future so you can take control of your health instead of feeling like it’s inevitable that you’ll get dementia.
Something like that…
You got to dimensional-ize these better…
Those are the big things…
And I think that what’s throwing both of us is that it’s an ebook and you’re wanting 49 bucks for an ebook.
I think that ship has sailed…
You call it a course take the chapters and divide them up into little parts of a course record, a five or 10-minute video to go with each one…
So it’s a, it’s a course, not a video…
It’s not a course, not an ebook…
That would be my other thing…
So I’ve been talking to lots Stew…
What are, what are your thoughts?
Stew Smith: Yeah, I think maybe go back into one of the Funnel Scripts and fix this one…
Which one would you recommend?
I would definitely recommend a title one or headline…
Yeah, that one’s classic…
Jim Edwards: I would use, in fact, do you want to play around with one for a second?
Stew Smith: Let’s do, okay…
Jim Edwards: So we’ll use the million-dollar content one and we will, our keyword topic is brain health…
All right.
Who’s our target audience?
Now that’s the thing we can put in people.
Stew Smith: People with family history of Alzheimer’s.
Jim Edwards: People with a family history of brain disease…
You hear, did you hear the little alarm?
Stew Smith: Yeah.
Jim Edwards: People with a family history of brain disease, areas of concern, Alzheimer’s actually they really need to take control of your brain health.
Big benefit.
If I could avoid developing brain disease, like was going to say a relative.
Stew Smith: Like my relatives…
Jim Edwards: Like my relatives…
Good job…
End the enemy they face is basically family history of brain disease.
Alright, so let’s see if we can get a headline.
Let’s see…
Oh dang…
Easy way to devoid developing brain disease like your relatives did…
That’s not bad…
Stew Smith: Nope…
Jim Edwards: I mean, that’s the…
We’re going to grab that one…
Actually, I’m going to clear the clip bin and we’re going to add this, cause I, let’s see what you don’t know about Alzheimer’s could hurt you…
That’s not bad…
What you don’t know about brain disease could hurt you…
Stew Smith: Yup…
That’s not what you make them all individual too…
You can kind of diversify your content by making one just for ADHD and one for Alzheimer’s and one for depression…
Jim Edwards: Look at this…
How to take control of your brain health and avoid developing a brain disease like your relatives.
Stew Smith: That’s really good that if that were at the top line, it would grab my attention.
Jim Edwards: Yup…
Stew Smith: 3 out of 5.
Jim Edwards: I like that you can avoid developing a brain disease like your relatives.
Here’s how boom…
Stew Smith: Yeah.
Jim Edwards: That’s mint…
I like that.
I liked that a lot…
If we’re going after people with a family history again that just goes to show honest to God, man, we look at this.
If we got rid of these top two parts and we threw that headline on there…
It’s true…
You can avoid developing a brain disease like your relatives…
Here’s how if you it’s true…
Exclamation point…
You can avoid developing a brain disease like your relatives…
Here’s how even if it changed nothing else…
Stew Smith: Yeah…
Jim Edwards: I bet you, the performance of this page would massively improve.
Stew Smith: I would start there, Jim have her change two things…
The top, top line, and then that one little error in the bullet…
Jim Edwards: Yeah.
Stew Smith: But change those two things and see what happens…
Give it a test…
Jim Edwards: Yeah, I would definitely do that.
In fact, don’t touch anything else cause you did get four people to buy…
The only thing though is that as we go through here, how to naturally prevent and slow the progression of memory loss and focus…
There’s nothing in here about brain disease, but you know what?
I still wouldn’t change…
See if you’ve sold them, I wouldn’t change anything…
See if that headline change makes a difference with the traffic you’re already getting…
Yeah, I would do that…
So let’s see…
I just wonder that one “take control of your brain health today…”
That could be a good sub-headline…
Take control of your brain…
Health today…
I’m sorry I didn’t…
Let me see if it’s down here.
No, here we go…
We’re going to add this, but where it says take control of your brain out like the pros, I would just use that as a subheading…
Take control of your brain…
Help today…
That would be a subhead…
So download all these…
If I was going to try headline, there we go…
It’s true…
Exclamation point…
You can avoid developing a brain disease like your relatives…
Here’s how, and then in the subhead in parentheses, I’d say take control of your brain health today…
That’s what I do…
Honest to goodness and you’re right Stew…
If they’ve already made some sales, then just change that headline and see what that does…
And then you can start massaging and other stuff…
Hopefully, it’ll work…
And if it doesn’t, you try something else…
And if it doesn’t, you try something else and you try something else, and you try something else…
I want to save this project.
Okay.
So I’m living proof that you don’t need to be able to spell to be able to use Funnel Scripts…
So the big thing I would say here, honest to goodness, they’ve already made some sales.
The one thing I will say also, I want to look at the funnel one last time…
Sorry…
Overall this looks good…
I’m normally not a fan of white on black, but it’s got the cool brain thing in the back, and the rest of this looks good…
It’s simple, and that’s great.
It doesn’t see people going ape with the formatting and everything…
The only thing you might want to look for is any place that you might be able to do bulleted lists…
Also, herewith, these, when you got these big blocks of text, maybe break it up with some pictures.
If you have, you’re always wanting to be a doctor, and you became a doctor, show a picture of yourself becoming a doctor…
Show a picture of yourself at your practice…
Show a picture of your grandpa.
Show some pictures to really make this story come to life…
Another thing is I was looking at this, and that really stood out to me.
Throw in some pictures to make the story come to life…
But other than that, man, don’t change anything else.
Now this one in nine US adults over 45 reports, memory issues, I would get rid of that…
That’s too easy to say, well, I’m not over 45, and I’m part of the eight…
All right…
Everybody has memory issues.
Everybody, whether they report them or not.
I have memory issues.
I can’t remember stuff every day.
So get rid of that.
Okay, so that would be what I would tell you to do, and hopefully, you’ll come back and tell us how this change worked for you because I’m really curious and if you guys have any suggestions for Dr. Kelly, please help us out in the comments down below…
So that’s all I got.
If you’re a member of Funnel Scripts, go use it.
I’ll actually load that as one of the examples into that headline script.
If you’re already a member of Funnel Scripts, go use it.
If you’re not a member Funnel Scripts, check it out.
You got to funnelscripts.com see a really cool training with Russell Brunson to myself…
Or if you were just ready to sign up, go to funnelscripts.com/go and sign up because we don’t have monthly billing anymore.
We don’t have yearly billing anymore…
It’s one time…
And you have unlimited access to Funnel Scripts…
Never pay again…
So I’m Jim Edwards.
Thank you, Stew.
Made some great points on this, and we will talk to you guys soon…
Bye-bye everybody.