Sales Copy Emergency Services – [podcast #17]


Jim Edwards comes to the rescue to help a entrepreneurial paramedic fix his sales copy on an existing product for Emergency Medical Technicians and Paramedics.  By changing the title, adding a short video, and also opening up the market, Jim shares some emergency sales copy for the EMS product that will no doubt save people’s lives. 

This is Funnel Scripts Live with Jim Edwards… an Official Click Funnels Production” For more information – See https://FunnelScripts.com Check out Funnel Scripts! 

Once again, thank you for listening and if you want to be on the show or just ask your question and we can help you with it, go to: https://members.funnelscripts.com/live/ All the scripts we demo are available right now for Funnel Scripts members to use! And, if you’re not already a member of Funnel Scripts, you should be! Head on over to https://FunnelScripts.com to get started today! If you’ve already seen the training and just want to sign up, go to https://FunnelScripts.com/go


Transcript…

Jim Edwards: Hey guys, Jim Edwards here, and welcome back to another edition of a Funnel Scripts live…

This is the official Funnel Scripts podcast posted with permission by the big man himself…

Mr. Russell Brunson.

I’m Jim Edwards.

Along with my podcast producer, Mr. Stew Smith…

Stew Smith: Hello, everybody…

Jim Edwards: Welcome, Stew.

Stew Smith: Thank you, sir.

And today we have something interesting…

We have a FunnelScripts user who is a EMT or a paramedic.

I don’t know which…

But one or both of the above…

Stew Smith: Yep…

Jim Edwards: And, interestingly, we have this topic because Stew, what do you do for people for those who don’t know what you do in your real job?

Stew Smith: Well, my real job is helping people prepare for any of these public service, tactical professions…

Military law enforcement, firefighter, EMT, paramedics.

There are some physical challenges that people have to endure with their job just to stay healthy and be able to perform the job.

And that’s what I do.

Jim Edwards: That what Stew does…

Jim Edwards: So this is cool that we have something…

We were like crossing all the stuff with somebody here who’s got an EMT thing.

So we’re just going to jump right in because…

What’s the background on this?

He’s got the site set up, but he’s not doing very well?

Stew Smith: Yeah, Jim, he has a good looking site…

However, it could be some better tweaks, I think…

And that’s a pure sales copy issue…

You and I were discussing, but right…

He is offering free download with an OTO of an audio of the book where the product bump of 50% off, and he’s not getting a lot of conversions.

Jim Edwards: Okay…

So, this is his headline…

Your a patient didn’t read the textbook and EMS differential diagnosis guide.

I have no idea what the heck that is…

Stew Smith: I don’t know either.

We’re not going to talk about formatting…

There’s way too much white space here.

At the top of this…

But I have no idea what this, even is, but I do know that he’s talking about what this is not what this does…

Okay…

And so that is the number one classic mistake that people make is saying stuff that you think makes sense…

Like your patient didn’t read the textbook…

I don’t even know what that means…

But that sounds like almost cutesy…

Like inside or talk like,

“Hey stew, you know, that guy doesn’t know what a one to 20 pyramid is. Hahaha.”

Stew Smith: How about save your patient’s life tonight…

Jim Edwards: Right?

“Save your patient’s life tonight!”

I like that, actually…

Okay…

Keep that…

Stew Smith: Yes…

Jim Edwards: And so what we’re gonna do since actually today’s episode of FunnelScripts live is sponsored by Copywriting Secrets, the newly released book bestseller on how to get more click sales and profits no matter what you sell or who you sell it to.

I would point out that on page 16, which is a secret number three, we talk about the 10 reasons why people buy…

Stew Smith: Yes.

Jim Edwards: And the third reason why people buy is save time…

And the fourth reason why is to avoid effort…

Save time, avoid effort…

And I think these are the things that we need to think about on this…

What’s this guy’s name?

Stew Smith: John.

Jim Edwards: John. With what John’s got going on here.

So we can run over to Funnel Scripts in a second.

Stew Smith: Oh, Jim, sorry, his name is Jim, not John…

Jim Edwards: Oh yeah, it’s got a cool name.

Stew Smith: Yes.

Jim Edwards: So let’s think about this…

What your first headline you said was save your patient’s life tonight?

Stew Smith: 100%.

Jim Edwards: Okay.

How about this guide could save your patient’s life tonight…

Stew Smith: There you go, even better.

Jim Edwards: Okay…

So now this and EMS differential diagnosis guide…

Again, I had no idea what that is.

In fact, I really had to read down here to try and get an idea of what this is…

But it sounds to me like with what he’s explaining here.

On abdominal pains, you should think of MI,…

Which again, I know, and Stew knows, MI or I think stands for Myocardial Infarction, which is a fancy way of saying heart attack.

Stew Smith: Yes…

Jim Edwards: So five signs in domino paying much more… common called type… you think of trauma 12…

So to me, and I don’t know if you agree with this, I believe this is some type of a checklist or matrix of some kind.

Stew Smith: Yeah, I would agree…

I mean, every one of these symptoms usually have a list of things that could be and that you should be considering as your EMS and your paramedic arrives…

That is what you should be considering.

Jim Edwards: Right.

And then down here, the short but powerful resources shirt increase your clinical awareness and is great to review on the way to a call during your documentation and even when something just isn’t sounding right in the call.

To claim your free digital copy…

Fill the form below…

So I think the germ of it is in here…

Stew Smith: Yes…

Jim Edwards: Because again, he’s talking about…

The short but powerful resources, increase your clinical awareness and his great to view in mind during a doctor when someone is down here on the call…

To me, it sounds like this is something if we’re thinking about…

Again, the reason somebody would buy, save time, and avoid effort…

And also you said before we jumped on here that people, when they’re on these calls sometimes you’ve been going for 16 hours and you’re tired…

You don’t want to miss something.

Stew Smith: Yeah…

Sometimes you haven’t slept all night, and you’ve been on running calls all night…

Sometimes if you can have something, a quick guide…

“Okay, so next patient has some abdominal pain.” Right?

You go through this checklist of like things that it could be medicines that you shouldn’t prescribe…

Jim Edwards: How about this?

Something like don’t let a routine call turn into a tragedy because of misdiagnosis…

Stew Smith: Yeah, 100% I mean, I think this little section right here is probably the best sales copy on the page, and it’s the smallest…

Jim Edwards: I think this needs to move up.

Stew Smith: Yes…

Jim Edwards: And I’m trying to copy and paste it up…

Stew Smith: That’s not your page.

But it’s like that could go up here…

And whatever Stew said before…

Stew Smith: Save your patient’s life tonight…

Jim Edwards: Save your patient’s life tonight.

Stew Smith: I think on this one Jim, the use of the acronyms are great, especially if your audience is only EMTs and paramedics.

However, if you want to sell to people that aren’t EMT is in paramedics, may be the wannabe market, which is a bigger market than the actual market itself.

Jim Edwards: Yeah.

Stew Smith: You might want to have some sales copy in there that better explains those and not use the acronyms that are common within the profession.

Because you could probably sell significantly more to the group of people who are training to be EMTs, who are…

Jim Edwards: Potentially… EMT paramedics and those training to be.

Stew Smith: Yup.

Tell you the wannabe market is bigger than the actual market…

Jim Edwards: Sure…

Well, if all the guys who’d ever bought your Seal book had gone to buds, it’d be like the fricking Marine Core…

Stew Smith: Well, yeah, think about everything else…

People buy football jerseys, they’re not going to be NFL football players…

Jim Edwards: True…

Stew Smith: They’re just fans and want to be and…

Jim Edwards: Right. So, what was yours?

This could save your patient’s life tonight.

And what did I say?

Basically, God, I hate when I…

Stew Smith: What the headline?

Jim Edwards: Yeah…

What was I saying about the headline?

Stew Smith: We were talking about saving time, effort…

Jim Edwards: Oh, don’t let, okay, hang on…

Don’t let a routine call turning to a life-threatening tragedy.

I was just playing around with the dictation thing.

How about don’t let it call you mistake as routine…

Turn into a life-threatening tragedy.

Something like that…

Stew Smith: Or a life or death situation…

Jim Edwards: Into a life or death situation…

Okay…

I like that…

I mean, that’s cool…

I mean, to me he needs some kind of…

I think this needs a video…

It needs a different title to…

Your patient didn’t read the textbook and EMT differential diagnosis guide…

Stew Smith: I get it, I understand what he’s trying to say there, but you’re right, it’s not the best.

Jim Edwards: This is the kind of thing you buy in a store or from Amazon, not the kind of thing you respond to on a page like this.

If that makes sense.

It needs to be more exciting.

But attention EMTs paramedics and those training to be…

This could save your patient’s life tonight…

That’s the that’s the pre-head…

Stew Smith: Yep…

Jim Edwards: Actually, what else could we call it besides a guide?

This, I mean, quick-reference?

This quick reference.

Stew Smith: Looks like it’s an app, right?

Jim Edwards: No, I think that’s just to represent an ebook downloadable thing.

Stew Smith: Okay…

Jim Edwards: This quick reference guide could save your patient’s life tonight and keep you from getting sued.

Stew Smith: There you go…

Stew Smith: You don’t need to write that, but do they even get sued?

Jim Edwards: Oh, you can get sued for negligence?

Stew Smith: I guess you could, yeah.

Jim Edwards: But most of these kids aren’t making any money, and it’s like, what are you going to get out of them?

But don’t let a call you mistake as routine turned into a life or death situation.

I’m trying to think if there’s a better way to say that, but that kind of a thing…

The short but powerful resource is sure to increase your clinical awareness even when you’re tired…

Or stressed.

And I would do this as bullets…

Stew Smith: Okay…

Jim Edwards: Even when you’re tired or stressed that in parentheses, and this would be better than what he’s got here.

I would have bullets under this…

All this stuff can go down here…

It needs to go under here…

It’s like to introduce this section…

But up here you’ve got the headlines, and you’ve got these bullets that we’re cooking up…

Stew Smith: Yeah…

And consider using regular English.

Jim Edwards: Yes…

Stew Smith: Instead of acronyms and medical terms…

Jim Edwards: Yes…

Yeah, you can say Myocardial Infarction…

And, actually, frankly, I would say heart attack because everybody knows what a heart attack is.

Why on an demo page, you should think heart attack, and then parentheses put MI or Myocardial Infarction…

Stew Smith: There you go…

Jim Edwards: Short preparation, even when you’re stressed out, even when you’re tired or stressed…

Excellent…

Be on the way to a call…

For fast reminders, so you don’t get tunnel vision, easy reference during your documentation, so you don’t leave critical info out…

This last part, even when something just isn’t sounding right on the call.

Jim Edwards: Help out your inner voice…

That tells you something just isn’t right on the call…

Something like that…

I mean now you got your bullets…

So you got your headlines…

Stew Smith: That’s a good introductory section…

Jim Edwards: Yeah…

Stew Smith: Like to the right of the picture of the book…

Jim Edwards: Yeah…

And I would try in get a video…

I would do a video or a five-minute perfect webinar or just something that tells a story…

Does this ever happen to you?

You’re tired, you’re stressed, you’re on your way to a call, and you think you know exactly what’s going on based on dispatch and prior experience.

You get there, everything appears the way it is.

And then in the blink of an eye, it turns from pelvic issue or gastro problem into a full-on cardiac arrest.

Whose fault is it for misdiagnosing it, who knows?

And it doesn’t really matter right then…

But you go from diagnosis and treatment into reaction mode, and you need to be prepared.

So this quick guide is going to help you before you get to the call, understand all the different things you should be looking for in order to make sure that a routine call doesn’t turn into a life-threatening or life-ending situation.

That was less than 60 seconds, but that would be a really cool video.

Stew Smith: A very good video…

Jim Edwards: Yeah…

Stew Smith: Have some sirens playing in the background…

Jim Edwards: Or at least do it in front of an ambulance…

Stew Smith: Yeah, there you go…

Jim Edwards: Just make sure you get permission…

Stew Smith: In the back of an ambulance…

Jim Edwards: Yeah…

Get permission from your…don’t put any identifiable stuff in there and have everybody say it’s okay.

The one thing I would tell you guys is to make sure that you come over here into Funnel Scripts, and I think this is going to help you to increase your take rate.

So make sure though the next step once you do this is you gotta have an effective follow up.

Now, we didn’t talk about his OTOs or anything like that…

But definitely, you’ve got to have good followup because they get what they want and sometimes they ignore you after that.

You got gotta have really good followup…

We do have the free info request email sequence.

This will help you to write your emails to follow up.

The first one, it’ll confirm that they’re getting their free report or whatever it is.

If they have a confirmation, if you’re doing double opt-in, then it gives them their freebie, and then this will help introduce you as the attractive character and then you can start sending them Seinfeld emails where you sell them stuff, and they get to know you.

And you would definitely want to use the origin story of the epiphany bridge script.

I think that’s one of the things that people neglect once they do start getting more opt-ins.

They don’t spend enough time on that followup sequence, or they have like two emails in there…

And so what this is gonna do, this script is going to help you to write that first couple of emails, and then you can use the fast teaser and tweet script to basically create as many emails as you want about virtually anything.

If you map out what you want to do and you can also use the onboarding email sequence as well…

Even though people think of the onboarding email sequence as one for just paid stuff, you can definitely use that for free stuff too.

And that creates an 11 email sequence where you can follow up and follow up…

Either one of those is really going to help you, and it’s going to save you a ton of money because I know that when I’ve paid really good copywriters in the past to write emails for me, I’ve paid up as much as $300 per email…

So this one 11 email sequence is worth 3,300 bucks, which is a lot more than the cost of Funnel Scripts?

Funnel Scripts on unlimited license is way less than that.

Anything else that we should talk about with Jim and the EMS guy?

I honestly think if he just does what we tell him (that) he could double or triple his current conversion…

Stew Smith: I think replaced the headline with what you mentioned and this little section right here to the right of the book with the bullets…

Move a little bit of that stuff down, what’s already there down a notch…

And I think you’re covered, but maybe do a little video there on the left…

But something to do…

Jim finish…

Making these changes, send it back to us using the hotline, and we will take a look at it again.

Jim Edwards: Sure…

Yeah, we can do that…

Maybe post a little video or something on that.

Stew Smith: Yeah. Do a before and after.

Jim Edwards: The big thing to understand, and I want to get across to you guys a couple things…

One, if you don’t have a copy of copywriting secrets yet, you should, you can get it at copywritingsecrets.com.

The other thing is to…

When you’re writing your sales copy…

Think about why is someone buying what is the motivation?

Now, this obviously isn’t a make money or save money type thing, but it’s definitely a save time…

Avoid effort…

We’ve got them all listed here on page 16…

Escape physical or mental pain.

That’s another one that you might be able to tie this to…

Stew Smith: Oh, man, imagine…

Imagine if you’re able to save someone’s life, how that’s gonna make you feel…

Jim Edwards: And imagine why you would feel if you screwed it up.

Stew Smith: Yes… Much worse.

Jim Edwards: Imagine how you’re going to feel if you misdiagnose somebody thinking that it’s just a GI issue, and it turns out to be a full-on myocardial infarction?

It would be better in sales copy to say it’s a full-on heart attack…

How are you going to feel if that happens and probably happens more often than you think.

Stew Smith: And I’ll tell you that strikes right to the heart of type of people that do these jobs.

That is the deep emotion of why they serve.

Jim Edwards: Right?

And that’s a big reason why you need to figure out before you start writing copy…

Figure out why people will buy what it is that you’re selling.

And we list the top 10 reasons inside of copywriting secrets.

Heck, I’ll list them off where you make money, save money, save time, avoid effort, escape mental or physical pain, get more comfort, achieve greater cleanliness, gain praise, feel more love, increased popularity or social status.

There you go.

Get the book.

And if you are already a member of Funnel Scripts, go use those emails follow up scripts…

And if you’re not, you should be head on over funnelscripts.com you can see an amazing training by Russell and myself.

Three secrets of copywriting as well as a great demo of Funnel Scripts.

And if you are on the fence and are now getting off the fence, getting Funnel Scripts, you can go to funnelscripts.com forward slash go and sign up for an unlimited license right now.

Pay once, no more monthly, no more yearly charges…

Pay one time, unlimited access to all the scripts we’ve ever done, and all the scripts we’ll do in the future for Funnel Scripts.

I’m Jim Edwards.

Thanks Stew, great job!

Stew Smith: Thank you!

Jim Edwards: This one was fun.

Hopefully, it will make a difference.

Stew Smith: Yes… And to the other Jim.

Thank you for serving your community.

Jim Edwards: Great job.

I agree with that 100%.

Okay, guys.

Have a great day.

Let us know what you think down in the comments, and we’ll talk to you soon.

Bye, everybody.

 

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